35 – Support for the Caregiver

Caregivers need support from family and friends as they take care of their disabled loved one who had a stroke or other debilitating accident. Support and encouragement helps strengthen caregivers so they’re able to keep a positive outlook to make it through the following weeks, months, and maybe years of taking care of their loved ones. My sisters, brothers-in-law, cousins, church family, and my dad were instrumental in getting me through the first months of the stroke. My co-workers were also super supportive as was my church family. 

I spent a lot of time attending worship, and fellowshipping with my church family. They supported me by asking me what I needed and then they responded to my needs. They supported me personally and financially. Having the love and support of my brothers and sisters in Christ was important for Jordan and me and though we tried, we could not thank everyone who played a part in getting us through those first months of the stroke. My Christian brothers created a schedule to be with Albert at the house so he would not be alone while I was at work.  They came to the house and watched tv with him, talked to him, took him to doctor’s appointments, and took him on excursions to the golf course or football games.

My sisters in Christ also set up a care calendar and brought us dinner for weeks. Jordan and I had so much food at one point that we had to ask them to stop sending food because we couldn’t eat all of it and didn’t have room to store it in the freezer. They understood this and sometimes they would come to the house and eat dinner with us as we talked about our day. Their loved flowed toward us during these hard times.

My sisters Charlene and Connie kept me sane. Connie came from Michigan and spent a week with me in Nashville supporting and encouraging every day. Not only did she encourage me, but she encouraged Albert. We sang songs with him, and we talked and we laughed together. We spent hours at the hospital beside Albert’s hospital bed. Charlene was the sister that I communicated with continually.  She encouraged and supported me by asking me questions, listening to me, offering her support, and spending time with me throughout the stroke and rehab.  

My sons were instrumental throughout the stroke helping me with the house, taking care of Jordan and their dad, and giving me love and support constantly. Albert, my oldest kept Jordan for weeks during the first months of the stroke with the help of Taylor, his younger brother. Knowing that Jordan had a place to go and older brothers who loved him and would care for him allowed me to commit myself to take care of Albert. All three of my sons love their Dad and their love was seen as they talked to him, visited and encouraged him in rehab, and when they spent time with him weekly.

My brothers-in-law were instrumental during the stroke. They were in Nashville taking care of their mom, my mother-in-law, who had stage four lung cancer when Albert had his stroke. It was a lot of work taking care of both of them, but they got the job done. Mom had weekly doctor appointments and the brothers took her to the appointments. When they were at the hospital they would come by and see Albert. They visited Albert and tried to take care of his needs as they took care of their mom. When we were at my mother-in-law’s house together we ate, sang, prayed, and worshipped God together. They were a great support. 

My school family, including the school board, were also supportive. The school president called me often to see how I was doing and I would give her a rundown of how things were going. We wrote letters to the school and church giving them updates on Albert’s condition and improvements in the hospital and rehab. The letters were read to my co-workers and brothers and sisters in Christ keeping everyone up-to-date on Albert’s status.  

Having a loving support system is necessary if you’re going to be an effective caregiver. People need people. Caregivers need people. God created us to be in relationships though sometimes we choose go it alone and suffer in silence. Just as your loved one receives and needs your love and care, caregivers need love and care. Caregivers should reach out and connect with family or friends whom they haven’t contacted recently, taking the first step.