22 – Heartbreaking Struggles

Albert’s stroke resulted in right-side paralysis, aphasia, and severe cognitive deficits.  He was right-handed and is now forced to use his left hand to eat, write, and do anything else he needs to take care of. He can stand up straight and walk but has a spastic gait; a stiff, foot-dragging walk and has little movement in his ankle joints. To compensate for dragging his foot, he lifts his entire leg in one motion to walk. The beautiful thing is that he can walk. 

Albert has expressive aphasia and has difficulty finding the right words to say to anyone that he’s trying to communicate with, although he knows exactly what he wants to say.  The doctor who saw Albert after the stroke said that the time between his stroke and when he was found was about six hours so his brain was without oxygen for some time in-between. The aphasia has robbed Albert of communicating with us through speech and written communication, and understanding his wants and needs at any given time is exasperating. Albert doesn’t talk in sentences but uses single words, and the words that he thinks that he saying are not the words that he states or the words that we hear.

His cognitive deficits are the most heartbreaking.  Albert used to be the life of the party, talking to anyone who came across his path.  He had a wonderful sense of humor that his friends thought was great because he told stories that made everyone laugh. He had good friends and spent time golfing and hanging out with them. When Albert was working as an accountant, he was driven and worked non-stop at times.  I remember when he worked on taxes for his friends who were small business owners 18-20 hours a day.  He did this while working full-time.

Now Albert is withdrawn, quiet, and doesn’t start or have a desire to be part of the conversations that are going on around him. When our sons, his friends, and I get together, there are lots of conversations happening. Albert is in the room but he sits contently and silently on the couch observing his surroundings, but not participating of any of the conversations. When people talk to him, he responds with one or two words, but he doesn’t have the ability to interact with them. I wonder what he’s thinking and what’s going on in his mind. One day I hope that he will be able to share this with me.