19 – Take it with a Grain of Salt

Shortly after Albert and I arrived home from Nashville, one of the women from the church that I attend invited me to lunch. She asked me to pick the time and place where we’d meet for lunch, which I was happy to do. I was ready to get out of my routine and spend time with someone not connected to the stroke. 

We met at a local restaurant and after we sat down opposite each other, our conversation began. Cheree asked how I was doing and if there was anything that I needed. At that time, I needed so much but I didn’t know what to say, so I said that I was fine. As we talked our conversation began to flow.  She asked about Albert, the stroke, and how rehab was going for Albert. We also talked about work because we are both educators. As she asked questions, she let me talk, actively listening to me, and then she asked more in-depth questions to get an understanding of the situation.  I had a sense of relief and felt that she sympathized with my situation and wanted to show that she cared about Albert and me. I was comforted. Our lunch was brought to us, and we ate, talked and laughed together. 

As lunch was ending and our conversation was coming to a close, Cheree began to make comments about Albert, the stroke, and his behaviors before the stroke. She let me know her thoughts and the thoughts of others were that Albert brought the stroke on himself. She broke down the reasons why they thought that the stroke occurred and incidents that she said happened before the stroke.  

As I sat and listened to her, really hearing her, and I knew that this was the reason for the lunch date.  I don’t believe that she cared about me or my situation. She wanted information from me, and she wanted me to know what her thoughts and the thoughts of others were concerning Albert’s stroke.

Lots of information was going through my mind but instead of arguing with her, I decided to walk away from the situation and take her words with a grain of salt.  Everyone was going to have an opinion on why Albert had the stroke, but all they had was their opinion. No medical facts or data, just their opinion, and I didn’t have to listen to Cheree’s opinion or act on her words. I had enough on my plate taking care of Albert, Jordan and me, and didn’t need negativity or judgments on us. 

I decided then that others can have their thoughts and opinions on why Albert had the stroke, but their opinions don’t matter, nor does the reason Albert had the stroke. Stroke is here and it isn’t going away. I deal with it every day as I continue livin’ my life.