16 – Time 4 Me

Throughout the first month of Albert’s stroke, I was busy taking care of Albert, Jordan, our teenage son, the house, and working full-time outside of the house. None of this was a problem because I was on automatic pilot. I didn’t think about what I was just doing, just did the work. As I worked crazily, I was blessed to have my sister Charlene by my side. Charlene listened to me, supported, and encouraged me throughout the time I was adjusting to the stroke.

Charlene, my youngest sister, and I walked together two-to-three times a week, during the week and on the weekend. We’d walk for miles on the weekends, and as we walked, we talked about work, our families, and our homes. At work, Charlene and I were both in positions of leadership, she at a Headstart and me at a private Christian school. We wanted leadership positions and prayed for the positions over the years, and then we both got hired in these positions. The jobs were more stressful than we imagined. As we talked, Charlene actively listened to me.  She asked questions about my situation, made comments and suggestions, but most importantly, she encouraged me. Having a loved one walking by my side was beneficial. When I was down or sad, Charlene would encourage me, and she was not evasive, digging into my personal life trying to gain information.

Charlene and I joined the YMCA together and added weightlifting to our walking routine. Before the stroke, I worked out, trying to keep my body in shape so after the stroke, being fit was still part of my plan. My preference was lifting weights for my upper body and working out on the elliptical. I felt guilty leaving Albert at home while I was working out, but mentally it was necessary. I think it’s important that as a caregiver, I take care of myself because even though my life has changed, my lifestyle doesn’t have to. God has blessed me with my life and I believe he wants me to live my life to the fullest. The one life that He gave me is the life that I’m living for him. I choose God. I chose to live a healthy lifestyle. I chose to take care of my body, which the temple of God. 

I’ve told people many times and I agree with the thought that God gives everyone one life to live and we have to choose how to live it. I choose to live my life for God and to not take life for granted. As a caregiver, I have a choice as to how I live my life.  I choose to take care of Albert, but not at the cost of losing me.