15 – Finding Balance

Albert’s first weeks at home were difficult. He wouldn’t use his wheelchair or walker. He wanted to walk on his own. This would have been fine but he was not able to balance himself. Sometimes I would watch him as he walked down the hallway and I would see his body begin to lean to the right. Sometimes the wall would catch him. Sometimes I would run to help him balance himself, and other times I would hear a loud thud. Albert fell. Albert fell a lot those first weeks for multiple reasons. He would not use his wheelchair or walker, and he would not accept help from me or others.

Brothers from the church came to the house while I was at work to sit with him and make sure that his personal needs were met. Albert did not want them in the house, but he tolerated them for a little while. He didn’t let these men help him, and soon there was no need for them to return. Albert was navigating his new world with his old mindset. I had grab bars installed in the restroom so Albert could balance himself when using the bathroom and shower. I’m sure that he was thankful, but he couldn’t say this. Time would change everything.

I had to learn to balance my new life. I called the stroke my new normal because it was. Every weekday morning, I would get up early and get ready for work. I would make Albert his breakfast and leave him some snacks. Jordan, our teenage son, and I would go to school together. I worked in the morning, and then during my lunch hour, I drove home to make sure that Albert was okay. I then returned to work and sometimes stayed until the evening because Jordan had basketball or track practice, and then we would ride home together. Once we arrived home, it was time to take care of and be attentive to Albert. The days were exhausting.

Looking back, I know that the only way I got through this period in time was through the grace of God. I believe in God, and I know that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I didn’t realize that something like this would happen Albert, and I didn’t realize that my life could change this dramatically. What is a balanced life for a caregiver to a stroke victim, who works outside of the home full-time, and is raising a son? I wasn’t sure but was working it out.